Some days are just hard

Yesterday was a day it was hard to do anything, it was hard to move.   It was a beautiful day and I tried to sit out on the deck but ended up lying in bed.  

Kate had left the day before for her new home.    She was only halfway there and I was so nervous as she drove.   Then I received the email from our primary doctor she wrote when Joe was diagnosed.   It brought me back to that moment and made me realize all we have lost since then.   Add to that Joe couldn’t find the sugar or garbage and we had no heat or hot water.   It was a train wreck.  

I had a hard time focusing.    I had a hard time processing.   I desperately wanted a glass of wine.   If you know me you know I like my wine at night.   But it scared me to want it like I did.  I went back to bed with a book and read for awhile and then actually started to think of cooking dinner.  

Joe had a very restless night and it was hard to get going and get out to work.   After that though the day changed.   It’s Sunday so I was part of Mass.   After Mass we did the Easter blessing in the parking lot.  We laughed.   We waved.   One couple told Father they were celebrating their 62nd anniversary today.  Another family came through celebrating their daughter’s 18th birthday.  Some stopped to check in with Father.   Others brought their weekly envelopes.    It was a centering moment.  

After half a day I came home.   I was able to do work for both jobs.   Eric fixed the vacuum so we could vacuum up all the fur Daisy left behind.   Laundry was folded, counters cleaned and then dinner cooked.  

Yes, yesterday was really, really hard.   But what a difference a day makes.