Physician Assisted Suicide

I have always been against physician assisted suicide. I remember being in school and hearing for the first time of euthanasia. I must say in my husband’s last week I had serious doubts.

Eric’s last week was rough. He actively convulsed for six hours before the medications were able to calm his body. There was a debate with nurses whether he was having seizures or end of life movements. One school of thinking was to bring back the antipsychotic to calm him and another against over medication. At times I thought “Just a little extra and he will find peace”. Yet again I needed to be reminded patience.

After six days with no water or food, moments of convulsions and seizures or not, Jason told me he wanted one last time to see Dad. After talking to Hospice, I knew Jason needed to go right away and see Dad.

We went together. We sat on either side of his bed each holding a hand. Jason told his dad he had a job and he knew he would be proud of him. He whispered in Dad’s ear and poured out his heart.

The next morning after such a struggling week, Eric passed quickly. When I called Jason to tell him he asked “Mom, do you think he was waiting for me?” Yes I truly do. In my moments of weakness, I wanted Eric’s struggles, his pain and the disease that hijacked his body to be over. I wanted him to find a peace I can only imagine. And once again, I am reminded that God has a plan. If anyone had given Eric that little extra Jason never would have had the closure he so desperately needed. Through God’s Grace, Eric waited for Jason. Eric stayed here until his children were all ready to say goodbye.

I had a weakness were I did wonder if physician assisted suicide was a just option. And once again, God proved his plan is the right one.