Today was rough

Today has been a rough day.   How has hovered over everything I have done.   He came to me and said he is worried about me and all I’m doing.   I know he loves me and I know he worries but I need a break.  

This brings about a lot of anger towards Joe's family.   I try.  I try so hard to let it go but it is there always.   Three plus years ago I told his sister things were wrong and he had not let me tell them.   He did not want them involved.   I had to persuade him to let me tell them.  

Immediately it was anger in their side as a response and we should have been told.   It sucks to be the person in the middle.   I made a vow to my husband and I kept his word for not involving his family.  I kept my promise to him until I convinced him this was bigger than us.   I don’t know why I ever did that.  

All that has been since then has been and extension of pain.   It’s hard to believe that those with a blood connection can abandon you and totally walk away when you are in a minefield.   I had faith in his brother Henry but still all I get is excuses.   

For three years I have been told how hard he or she works.   I have been fed excuse after excuse.   Yet I have seen all Henry has done for his in-laws.   I have born witness to my sisters in law and niece and nephew running for the hills. 

I don’t have that option.   I made a vow to Joe.  I made a vow to stand by him in sickness and health.   I won’t leave him even when he wakes me up in the middle of the night or needs me to let him know how his care will go or just reassure him that I am going to take care and protect him.  

His family plays a role of being a tight knit family that takes care of each other.   It is a shame that it is a myth.