Some days I'm so tired

Some days I just want to curl in a ball and sleep. Some days when other people complain about how busy they are or how tired they are, it is all I can do to stop myself from saying something snide. I know we are all busy and we are all tired. But for me working six days a week, taking care of Joe, managing the house, the finances and keeping tabs on the kids is daunting.

This past Saturday was the first day off I had in three weeks. Yes I said I only work six days a week but in September there are a lot of extra Saturday activities to go to. After three weeks of working and moving Eric to school and getting him settled, all I wanted was a day to lie in bed read a book or watch TV. I wanted me time. I wanted to be in my own head and just not focus on anything.

Yet, Joe wanted to be together. He kept checking on me. He kept patting me or rubbing me. I know he too has gone through a lot and I know he misses the kids. I know this and I know he is looking for me to help him settle. But still I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to talk particularly not about politics. I didn't want to be touched, patted or rubbed. I didn't want to open the mail, look at bills, check voicemail. I just wanted to left alone.

I feel selfish for saying this. I need to find a way with Eric gone to give Joe some of what he needs but yet still find that time I need. So many people tell me to make sure I take time for myself. Its the how I have yet to figure out.