Time to use that passport

I did it! I bought my first international air ticket. I have never had the need for a passport. Liz is getting her white coat in Veterinary Medicine in March in Ireland. I desperately want to go and be there with her then. I have always wanted to see Ireland and travel to Europe but have never had the money or opportunity. It's something Joe and I had on our bucket list for when we were empty nesters.

Now I am going on this trip and leaving Joe behind. I don't know what to tell him. For our entire relationship we have told each other the truth. We made plans together. We talked everything out together. Every trip but two we took together. One trip I went with Kate to Washington DC for a conference on food allergies. Another trip was with Liz to New York and to Tennessee to interview with Vet Schools. Yes, with my job I am now taking trips without him. I look at those differently. I am taking teens on a service trip or to a youth conference. He wouldn't have wanted to go to those whether he had Alzheimer's or not.

But this. A trip to Ireland to see his little girl get her white coat. This he would want to do. Yet, the last time we flew with him in January was a challenge. He was so stressed out going through security. He didn't know what they were asking him. He was so confused. We went to the airport extra early just to get him through security and give him time to settle before getting on the plane.

I have talked to his Neurologist and a psychologist about the trip to Ireland. They both agree it is too much for him. It's more than just security. Its also a major time change and completely new place. They don't think he would do well with it. But still I feel super guilty about not only going and getting my passport and hiding it from him, but also buying an airline ticket to Ireland. I still struggle with what to tell him. I don't want to lie to him. Yet, I can't tell him the truth either as it will hurt him too much. Already there are times he thinks I am trying to get away from him.

Sometimes living with this disease is easier than others. Sometimes this disease just sucks.