I Don't Want to be Daddy

It was a heartbreaking conversation tonight with Kate.  We were talking about family and marriage and healthy conversations.  

Then she dropped the bomb “I don’t want to be Daddy, I don’t want to end up like him”.   I was in Church this week praying that Joe’s Alzheimer’s is caused by some random, unexplained reason.

   I want this instead of him carrying a gene that could be lurking in one or more of my children.  When Joe was diagnosed we talked extensively with the kids about whether or not to go to a genetic counselor.   We could have Joe tested to see if he carries the gene.   We talked about what we would do if he did carry the gene, if one of our kids tested positive.    Liz was adamant she did not want to know.   She did not want us to have Joe tested.   We discussed what benefit it would have to us, to them, if we found out.   There is no treatment that would stop or slow the gene if it is lurking in one of them.

So now all I can do is continue to pray this beast isn’t lurking in my children or their yet unborn babies. I don’t want to live this again.