I did it
A post from two months ago
I am not one to take chances. I like to know that I am playing it safe and doing what I can to keep the road as straight as possible. I know this may seem silly when we have had so many twists and turns thrown at us.
Recently I have been thinking about quitting my part time job. It has been a great job that has been so flexible with my schedule, the pandemic, working from home. I had two bosses who were just as concerned about our personal lives as our work life. But it has been nagging at me that Joe only has so much time left. With me working two jobs, six days a week, I don’t have much time left for him. My day off consists of long talks with each of my kids and lying down watching a movie or reading a book to gather enough strength to tackle the next week.
As I started to contemplate quitting, I was so scared and just prayed so hard to let me know of this was the right choice of not. The harder I prayed the more it seemed to be right. There was absolutely nothing telling me to pull back.
I spoke to each of my kids. I told Eric “You know I don’t take chances” with a quick reply of “Jeez Mom, tell me something I don’t know!” As we continued to talk he asked me if I was scared to take the chance. I told him I was and then he told that meant it was the right decision.
Next I talked to my mom. I wasn’t quite sure how she would respond. I kinda felt she would be nervous for us financially. Instead she threw up her arms and said “Finally”
Onward and I spoke to Kate. Kate who is on the middle of a cross country move but first a wedding. “Mom, I don’t even know what you want me to say”. More conversation and a request to use my extra time off to schedule a trip to Missouri.
Last up was Liz. For a long time after Joe’s diagnosis she was mad that I took the job at church and not full time in pharmacy. She wanted me to work in pharmacy, less hours and more money. She was one I was also concerned about. I waited till she came home to tell her. As we sat on the deck and I told her she was quiet for a little while. Then my 26 year old, married, final year vet student, living in Ireland asked “Will we be okay?” She may be an adult and on her own, but in her heart it is still “we”. I liked that.
So today I took the plunge. Today I gave my official notice. As soon as I said the words, I became super nervous and scared I had made the wrong choice. Now with a few hours in between I am as comfortable as I can be that this is the best decision for us.