He is Aware

I was sitting in the deck this afternoon reading a book when Joe can and brought a chair to the sliding door and sat down.  At first I was annoyed.   It’s a great book on a beautiful afternoon and I just want to read.  

After a few minutes I asked what he was thinking about.   He started by asking when Eric was going back to school.   The more we talked the more I realized was going on.   Joe finally admitted he knows he can’t stay at home by himself and know he will be safe.  He is aware of the things he has done that could have potentially been dangerous if Eric or I weren’t home to fix it.  

To me this is a milestone.   It is both a good and a bad one.   I have wanted there to be a time Joe wasn’t angry about having to go to his day program or angry my mom was come to spend time with him.   But it also scares me that he realizes he isn’t safe by himself.  

We continued to talk about not knowing when Eric will be able to go back to school.   We talked about options when we start to really reopen.    I told him there are three things I know I can do to keep him safe.   First my mom will come and be with him.   Next is his day program and every week I talk to the director and she knows what has been going on.   Last is talking to Elder Services about a companion coming and being with him when I work long nights.   He was open to all ideas but did say he misses my mom and would like her to be the first option.   Funny because he was very ambivalent about her coming over when he was first diagnosed.   I hope he just knows that she loves him and just like I do want the best for him.