Feeling Guilty

I’ve admitted this before and I’m admitting it again, I don’t mind this pandemic.   That said I am heartbroken for all of the medical personnel, janitors, hospital workers on the front lines.   I have spoken to some and heard stories of others and cannot even begin to imagine what you are dealing with.  

But for me, this past weekend while wearing gloves and masks we passed out palms to all who drove through the parking lot.   I was filled with joy to be able to see so many people I care about and have missed but to do it safely.   It was amazing to see cars full of families even the college kids who made an outing out of a trip to the church parking lot to get palms.  

Today I worked from home.   I made so calls this morning and then Daisy and I took a long walk.  It was a beautiful day so we tried an entirely new route.   Our old route through the park was too crowded.   On the way back we saw two different neighbors out.   We were able to stay at a safe distance but check in and catch up.  This turned into a two hour event.  

After getting home, Kate joined Daisy and my laptop on the deck.   I worked.  We talked.  I worked.   We talked.   I took a few work calls.   Then we each read our books while Daisy played in the yard.   We came in and lay in bed.  I read, Kate and Daisy slept.  

Dinner is over.  And Daisy and I are back in the yard.  She is sitting on the hill listening to the birds and the neighborhood sounds.    I am just taking a deep breath and feeling so amazingly grateful for a day like today.  

We have plenty of food, enough toilet paper for weeks.   The weather was amazing.   Tonight, I feel blessed to be able to purchase what we have needed to keep us functioning.    I am grateful some of the want buys have stopped.   I am grateful my life, personally has slowed down.  

I continue to pray for all those suffering, be it with this virus, their family who cannot be with them, the workers who are putting themselves at risk to care for all who are sick.   For me if what I must do to protect those around me is to stay home I will do my best.   It will be harder in the next few days when the weather is bad.   But for today I felt joy.