What makes a marriage?

It was one of those days. There were things going on and I wasn’t sure how to handle them. As i drove home, I wanted to talk to you about it. I wanted to spill it all and just have you listen. But I knew while you still support me you wouldn’t understand. Not only wouldn’t you understand, you would know something was wrong and just worry. So instead I told you I had a busy day and needed to have sometime before I was ready to go to bed.

After sometime I convinced you to go to bed. I’m taking a shower and will be in soon. I make sure you are settled and now here I am. Emma interviewed a couple today that has been married 72 years. I was in tears watching it. I know that will never be us. I had a makeup class and one teen questioned why her grandma would have a good life only to loose all of her memories to Alzheimer’s. I watched students I know have what it takes to lead their peers be disruptive in class. I spent time in Mass and was able to be in the moment and just experience it and feel it.

I want more from our marriage. I want to continue the partnership we started 32 years ago. You have been the one I could tell anything to. You are fading quickly and I don’t know how much time we have left. I don’t know what I am going to do without you. But I will never doubt how much you have loved me.