Sometimes you just need to cry

Have you ever known the tears you are holding back just need to fall???    But you also know there is no safe place to let go.   If I cry in my small house my guys will come running.   I can’t cry on command so it’s not like I could pull over some place private and let go.  So what do I do?   I do as always.   I bury it.   I let tears drip but don’t let them flow.  I don’t want anyone to know how deep the pain is.  I want it to be mine alone.  I don’t want anyone else in the mess.   So until I can figure it out,  the tears will drip but not flow.