So scattered

Tonight I sit and ponder so much. I snapped at Joe twice today. Obviously I didn’t mean to, but I did. I have felt scatterbrained for along time and blamed the fact on, I drink wine at night. Over the holidays I considered shutting down the blog after being judged by those close to me.

Tonight have pondered, a lot. Perhaps, too much. Before sometime off, I found I could not sit still, ever. I have been having very real dreams to the point when I am awake I cannot tell what is real and what was a dream. I blame myself for not finding a word or flubbing it and get embarrassed.

Tonight after a busy day I just sat and pondered. Is the fact I mess up do you drinking wine at night, working two jobs, working six days a week, managing a house and my adult children, caring for my husband etc. When your thoughts travel like that there is some perspective.

The dreams recently of a house on a lake but struggling to get to the lake, or struggling to climb stairs, I get some perspective. Recently I have heard tales or a falsehood being spread about me. It bothers me. I am embarrassed. But at the end of the day, I am me and God knows the truth