Judged

So, I have not been posting recently. I have wondered if I was putting too much of myself out there. Over the holidays I was judged by those close to me. They feel I am not using the best coping mechanisms. They feel I am not handling my life, my stress, and Joe’s decline in the best way possible. Then there are those who just aren’t present in any way.

I have spent time in the month since then processing. I have spent time trying to look at all from different angles. I have dealt daily with Joe and his needs. My conclusion, it hurts. It hurts to be judged by family who have no idea what the day to day is. It hurts to be judged by those who walked away, yet share a different story.

However, I have been listening to a podcast “Bible in a Year” since New Years. It has provided me with so much insight, so much perspective. I have wanted children who love each other no matter what. To hear in this podcast of the brokenness of families since the very beginning, helps me to remember we are all human. We all deal with struggles in a different way. I am still very hurt but the perspective is very helpful.

In this time of active judgment I question if this blog was smart, or was I putting myself out there too much. I am the type to stay quiet and hide in the midst of conflict, but I also want to share my story for anybody else going through a similar struggle. Life is hard. But with faith we can make it .