Is this truly real?

There are times I question if our path is truly real. Am I really married to a guy losing who he is? Are my kids being asked to slowly say goodbye to their dad? At times it feels more dream than real.

I know it’s real. Obviously! I live it every day. Years ago I had a burning need to complete my geriatric pharmacy certificate followed by my youth ministry one. I knew something was coming at our family, and it was big. I knew I would be responsible for us.

I look back at that time. I felt like nothing in our life, in our world was stable. Every single thing was in flux. Yet after six months it fell piece after piece in complete order.

I feel more and more than Joe is going to need more care soon. This week he starts back to Adult Day. He is so much less than when he started prepandemic. I know it will
wear him down and tire him out. I know with the job I have and the summers we have I won’t be able to care for him next summer and long term care is in our near future. And then I go back. Is this real or is this a dream!!! It feels like both.