I scared him

A lot of time I focus on how I feel, how tired I am. I don’t realize all that Joe is going through. He hears everything I do and is there all the time. I simply want some time for me.

Today was a minor holiday. Simply put a day off for no real reason. I loved it. I was so tired and simply wanted to sleep. I was sort of aware that Joe got out of bed. At one point I could hear him in the hall and wished he wasn’t so attentive and drifted back to sleep.

I lay in bed and didn’t want to wake up. Again I heard him in the hall and just wished he would let me be. I tried to drift off again but couldn’t. Eventually I gave up and drank some water in the bottle near my bed.

Of course Joe heard me and came in. He was happy I was awake and asked all the normal questions that drive me nuts. Then he told me he thought of waking me up. He was scared. He didn’t know why I was asleep so long. He knew he was the only other person in the house and if something was wrong, he had no idea what to do to help. He was afraid I had slept through an alarm. He was afraid I was sick.

All I wanted was to sleep in and relax. I had no idea how this would affect him. I had no idea why he hovered as he did. Now it all makes sense. #earlyonsetalz #alz #caregivers #faith #catholic