I hate stress

Ever since Joe's care meeting last week I have spent a lot of time thinking about the progression of his Alzheimer's. How fast will he go? How soon can I expect? Is he okay at home alone? I don't know the answers and it makes me crazy. I know I never had control over how life played out. But I am a planner. I want to know if Joe will be able to recognize his daughter on her wedding day next June. I want to know if Eric moving out to school will leave him too isolated.

I spoke to Joe about the fear of him being alone for the days he will be alone with Eric in school. He assures me he will be fine and all he does is watch his movies and he doesn't want to go more days to his program. Liz promised me she would be fine standing on a chair just before she fell off and knocked out two teeth. You can't promise something like that.

I want to keep him safe but I also want to let him have some control over his life. I can't imagine what it has been like for him to go from being the Head of the Household to not driving, not remembering and losing yourself. I've been told I will know when it is time. Something will happen to let me know its time. Yeah! I'm not okay with that.