Grant me strength

Sometimes I don’t know if I will make it. Sometimes I wonder why me, why my family. Other times it just is. It just is who and what we are.

Tonight I struggled. Overall I’m tired. But Joe had so many questions. Do you want the bowl there? I listened to the , the, the , you heard it right? How is church? How is everyone? Did you have a good day? So you went to church?

I just wanted a little time. I wanted some time in my head and went to watch a trivial movie. I hadn’t made it through the credits before he was calling me. Amazon had delivered. I went back to the movie and his head popped around the corner. He asked “how was church”. “ Are you okay?” Yup. Just watching a movie. A few minutes later he comes to tell me his is going to take his medicine. Later he comes and asks if I am going to bed.

I relent and say I will go to bed. He then asks about each light I turn off. I tell him to lie down and I will cover him. Wait, not across the bed. Put your head on the pillow.

Please Jesus, give me strength. Today was a rough one. I know it will get worse before it gets better. Sometimes I don’t know if I can handle it. Sometimes I just don’t want to. But then I keep coming back to his faith in me to right his world. It is a heavy burden and I only pray I am strong enough for the task. #strength #earlyonsetalz #alz #caregivers #faith #catholic