Different viewpoints

I came home with a car load of groceries and texted Eric to come help me bring them in and put them away.    He came out and we started to bring them in but shortly he stopped me with “Mom I need to talk to you”. 

Eric’s viewpoint he started hearing smacking noises and came to check on them.    There was a yellow jacket in the house.   Joe had balled up a magazine and was smacking the picture window to try and kill it.   Eric was afraid Dad was going to break the window and stepped in to take over.   Dad did not appreciate it.   After a showdown Dad told him to just take care of it.   

I come in and Joe is sitting on the couch with a puss on his face.  He doesn’t come to greet me but just sits there.   That is a sure tell sign he is pissed.   I ask what is wrong he says not now a few times.   I tell him Eric told me about a fight with about a bee and Joe let’s go.  He feels Eric has been reprimanding him and telling him what to do.   

This disease is so hard.   Joe is not and has not been able to let any of his children guide him or tell him what to do.   He has told me repeatedly that he is “still Dad”.   Yes of course he is still Dad.   But he won’t admit or recognize that he is not who he was.   He doesn’t see he needs his kids to help him and take care of him.   Joe will listen to me and accept my help but rejects his kids help. 

If you have the answer, let me know.  Till then.