Between he and me

It is so hard sometimes to be calm and deal with Joe’s deficits.  This morning was one of those times.    I had not slept well.  I woke with a crazy dream at 4:30am and could not get back to sleep.    At 5:15 am, with my mind churning, I realized sleep was allusive and I should just get up and face the day.    

I spent time on the couch just trying to bank all the thoughts in my head.   Realizing this wasn’t possible, I started to get ready for the day.   I was bent over in the fridge to gather things to make my lunch when the fridge door was opened wide.  I jumped back, hit my head on the freezer and yelled “ What”.   Joe looked at me and told me he was holding the door.  While holding the door he blocked me from all access to the counters.  I barked at him “I’m fine”.   And then immediately felt guilty 

This afternoon a good friend of mine came to the office and was somber about my posts.   She is someone who I greatly miss her hugs.   Her husband is dealing with Parkinson’s.   She told me how bad she feels for me.   I hate where I am.   I hate this beast.   But it brought me the most amazing faith filled people in my life.   While she struggles through Parkinson’s and I struggle with Alzheimer’s I know the amazing, faith filled people praying for us.   This means everything.   Without your prayers I could not do this.   

Even know instead of just going to sleep, he has propped up his pillow and rubbed my arm as if to say “I am here”