Best day in a long time

Today was day two for Joe with the day program. And the first day I have been alone in my house in over four years!

I started sitting in the sun and praying the rosary. I moved on to Bible in a Year followed by a really long walk. Before Joe’s diagnosis we would walk 3-5 miles every day. I knew the hill to climb to the library would be tough. I also knew I could do it. I had to stop three times but I made it! I was so proud of myself to make the crest and turn the corner. The rest was flat or downhill. For the first time I enjoyed taking my time. I stopped and sat on a bench in the park and watched the world go by. I listened to the giggles of little ones on the swing. I saw two separate parents with their little boys watch the guy on the big lawn mower. I stopped at the pond and watched the sun glint on the ripples in the water. I inhaled deeply and took my time going home.

I wasn’t going to waste a minute. One cup of tea, a deck chair and the sun carried me for awhile. I then realized that while I need new sneakers I could actually go to the store and try them on and make sure they fit. I didn’t need to order exactly what I had before online cause I knew they would fit.

It was then back to the deck with more tea and a great book. I stayed there till he came home. It’s amazing to move around my house without anyone following me. I loved being able to get lunch or make a cup of tea or even to sneeze and not have anyone tush to my side to make sure I am okay.

A little bit of me felt guilty. Yet a lot of me felt more calm than I have in a very long tim