Admitting weakness

I have been spending a lot of time recently talking about how uncomfortable I am asking for help. Tonight it dawned on me, to ask for help is to admit your weakness. It is to show your imperfection, your soft spot.

I have shared with you what my dad thought of asking for help. Tonight, I feel like I understand. He was a tough Irish Catholic cop. He never admitted any weakness. Even when we all knew he had them, he told us we were wrong. He told us we didn’t know what we were talking about or he rewrote history.

Tonight, I am realizing all of this. It is crazy what we carry from childhood. I realize now as I have reached out not one, not two, but three times for help, that I truly am showing my weakness.

I was so terrified of asking, of putting myself out there. I haven’t slept well and have had the strangest dreams. But I am starting to feel that by putting myself out there, by asking for help, I am not only admitting my weakness. I am also admitting I need my family and my community. I do not promise to handle it well, but I do contemplate and pray for and thank God for everyone he has brought to me. #weakness #earlyonsetalz #alz #caregivers #faith #catholic