The Deconstruction

So you heard I said yes! I accepted help to take the girls room apart and make it a sitting room of sorts. Thank God I did. It was emotional enough as it was.

Mom knew she had a week to clean in there before Shelly and Emma came. She boxed, bagged and put in totes each girl’s belongings. She separated one sister from another so they can find “their stuff”. Seeing the room down to barebones was harder than when they each went off to college. At least the I could go in their room and still feel their presence.

I know the room needed to be repurposed but it was so hard seeing so little of their personality there. This morning Shelly and Emma arrived for the official deconstruction.
Beds were dismantled. Dressers moved downstairs. The downstairs roomed was cleaned and organized before the “stuff” arrived and was put one side for Liz and the other Kate.

The futon and rocker spent time of the front lawn as we moved toted and organized. The furniture came in and was placed and a sitting room created.

Emotionally I don’t know if I could have tackled this without mom, Shelly and Emma. Tonight I think of the time I convinced Kate I was fourteen steps away and could get to her in seconds so she was safe to fall asleep. I think of the day we stripped the wallpaper to find drawings on the wall. I think of the day my two very different daughters agreed on a paint color and I rushed to have it mixed before someone changed their mind. There were nights I spent on the floor when Liz had PTSD. There were nights I spent in Kate’s bed doing guided meditation so she could let go of some of the pain and fall asleep. The times I curled up on one bed or the other to hear their stories.

A lot of memories lie in that room. Tonight as the dust again settles, I know i could not have done this without help. And while I struggle with accepting help, I am so grateful to have taken a step forward.