Caregiving

I have been working from home for five weeks and caring for Joe. We have a small house so I hear the TV shows or movies he watches. I hear the commercials he singing along to. In one way it is really good that I can hear him. I hear him moving around and I know where he is, what he is doing and that he is safe.

On the other hand, I hear everything he hears and all he watches and know everything he is doing. He also makes it a point to come and check in on my often, even while on a Zoom meeting or work call. While trying to figure out a technology problem he comes in and wants a hug. He comes and tells me all that is happening outside our window. He comes to tell me he finished his lunch.

I am grateful, very grateful that he is happy and not angry or aggressive. However, I feel trapped. I drop something and he comes running. I stretch and groan and he comes running. I have no place to go to just have some time for me.

So I have done this for five weeks. I have been thinking so much and praying for all those who have been doing this since the pandemic started. I can see how going on month 11 is going to truly affect the mental health of the caregiver. Already caregivers are at a higher rate of depression and mental illness. Now add in a pandemic.

I am so grateful that I am able to go back to the office a few days a week. The break from home, the ability to get lost in work is huge. I pray for all those who are not able to do that.